Overcoming Fear Of Women

>>>COMMENT FROM A READER:
Hi Obi'Wan De'Angelo,
I was one of, I'm guessing, the heaps of other
guys that have trouble with the ladies that are
giant procrastinators.
This was a major problem of mine, I'd think about
what to do and what to say, only to find that I
missed my opportunity in doing so.
Then a few weeks after reading "Double Your
Dating" I thought bugger this what am I scared of
a little girl who is smaller than me not being
interested. What a way to live life. Worried so
much about what somebody else might think or say.
I'm 19 and had never dated, so I set myself a goal
of getting half a dozen dates by the end of the
year. Now this may not seem like a lot, but to me
it seemed almost impossible.
I started by phoning a girl that is in my course
at uni who's number I already had, and I arranged
a study date. When I say 'I' she basically
organized it, I think she was just waiting for me
to show some initiative because she sounded almost
ecstatic that I had phoned'.
And although I didn't jump straight in the deep-
end asking a stranger for her number, that was
only a step away. Now I have so many girls to
choose from it's almost confusing. Though I prefer
being confused than lonely.
So Dave what I'm trying to say is you have
improved my life tenfold. Not only am I having a
great time seeing different girls, I'm also doing
better at my studies because I no longer have in
the back of my mind how pathetic I am. I also have
made more friends through knowing so many more
people. All I needed was that first little step
and it soon snowballed, because as you know pretty
girls know pretty girls, now it's just a matter of
finding one that meets my now prestigious
standards.
Dave IOU my life, thanks.
T.G.
Australia
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Thanks for the great Success Story! Nice!
Ah, the concept that is near and dear to all of
us men who have started on the path to success
with women and dating...
FEAR.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of embarrassment.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of what a woman might do if we start
talking to her.
Fear of what other guys would think if they
knew that we needed help with women.
Fear of what WOMEN would think if they knew
that we needed help with women.
Fear of admitting that we're AFRAID.
...and about 100 others.
But, what exactly IS fear?
And why is it such a problem?
And what can be done to overcome it?
(By the way, as I mentioned at the beginning,
if you want to REALLY get past your internal fears,
then you need to do DEEP work.) I recommend that
you STRONGLY consider the information that I share
HERE as well:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/OnBeingAMan/


Onward...
Well, let's start with what fear is, then we'll
move on to some techniques to get past it.
I once heard a great definition of FEAR:
False Evidence Appearing Real
In other words, the things that you feel fear
about are usually not real. It's usually just
"false evidence".
You also might think back about the last 10
things you felt fear around. Now, ask yourself...
Did any of those things come true?
In most of the cases, you'll find that the fear
did NOT come true.
I heard once that something like 98% of the
things that people fear and worry about never come
true.
I've found this to be true in my own life as
well.
Fear is an emotion, or an emotional state. It's
an amazing and wonderful emotion... because it can
help save your life in certain situations.
A hundred thousand years ago, when we were
running around in the desert, we needed powerful,
motivating emotions like FEAR to save our lives.
When you feel fear (especially if it's a
response to real physical danger) you'll notice
that some AMAZING things happen. Your eyes open up
wider so you can see better, adrenaline pumps into
your body, your heart beats fast to deliver blood
to your muscles, and all kinds of other wondrous
processes are triggered.
The PROBLEM is when we experience fear at times
when there IS NO real physical danger.
We humans are amazing. We can just IMAGINE
things and feel fear in response to the mental
images.
And I'm sure you know exactly what the problem
is with this... it can IMMOBILIZE you at critical
times.
Have you ever seen a woman that you'd like to
meet, but you just couldn't walk over and start
talking to her?
No, it's never happened to me, either.
What was the problem?
Usually, it's fear.
Fear that she'll get upset, or fear that she'll
have a boyfriend... or fear that she'll embarrass
you in front of others... or fear that you won't
know what to say to her...
And, of course, when you feel that strong fear
emotion, it just FREEZES you and makes you totally
ineffective.
So, what's the solution?
Well, there are several ways to overcome fears.
One way is to do the thing you fear. If you do
the thing that you fear, and see that nothing bad
will happen, then you eventually overcome it and
become programmed not to feel fear anymore.
For instance, if you're afraid to approach
women and talk to them, just DO IT. Go talk to 50
women in the next week and see that most of them
will respond positively to you (if you don't act
like a dumb-ass, that is).
Other ways to overcome your fear when it comes
to approaching women include:
- Understanding the dynamics of male/female
interactions better than most women do.
- Learning how to approach women using the same
types of words and body language that the masters
use.
- Learning how to use props or other devices to
get a woman's attention without having to
"approach" her directly.
- Learning mental techniques to overcome fears or
"reset" your emotions instantly, anytime you'd
like (this is one of my personal favorites).
- Using mental preparation to be completely ready
for anything that might happen.
...and there are several others.
I have spent a lot of time in my own personal
life learning about and figuring out how to get
past fears and other psychological obstacles with
women.
In fact, I devote almost HALF of my Advanced
Series CD/DVD Program to the idea of the "Inner
Game"... and focusing on how to get your mind and
emotions in the right place so that when you use
your techniques they work MUCH BETTER when you do
use them.
I teach several concepts and guided exercises
specifically for overcoming fear, programming
yourself for success, and programming your mind to
succeed with women.
It's taken me many years to find the different
types of exercises and technologies that you can
learn in a few hours of listening and practice.
I recommend that you go check it out... you can
see and listen to some great samples here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/


And if you haven't downloaded my online eBook
"Double Your Dating", then you need to do that
now. You can download it right now and be reading
it within a few minutes. Get it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/


You can get past your fears, but you need to
learn how...
So make the commitment to yourself, and do it!
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.

Tips To Getting A Girlfriend FAST

Onward...
>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
David, you have helped me a lot so far, and I feel
like I am somewhat of a different person now
compared to before by reading your dating tips
etc. I met a girl not too long ago, she is a
couple hours away from me, and I put to work a lot
of what you had said since talking to her online,
and during my meeting with her, and it all went
very well. We spent two awesome nights together,
and I gave her a ride up to the city on my way
home, and the whole time she was playing with my
hair and holding my hand. I was sad to say bye,
and I tried keeping my composure saying bye to her
and since when we have talked on the net, and I
have tried "leaning back" more...it is hard. I
even have been trying to talk to and meet other
women (I might have another fun day tomorrow lol)
but all the same, I like this one in particular,
and I am unsure of how to bring up and try and
head towards a relationship with her (at least
talking with her about it) without starting to
look like a wuss. I know from experience that
once the wuss factor kicks in I can kiss any
chance goodbye and will just be a LJBF for the
girl. Do I just try playing it cool and hope she
comes to me, and just try going with other girls
in the meantime, or do I approach her...and if I
do what do I say? I know she does have some
feelings for me, I kind of brought it up (minor
wuss episode). I want to on one hand be able to
know how to deal with women before getting
involved seriously with one, but if I met one I
want already, then I would be happy with that. I
think I would enjoy a long term relationship.
What should I do man? Thanks for everything,
you're the best.
JR
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a really good question... In fact, I
think that a lot of guys really wonder "Is there
anything I should do DIFFERENTLY if I'd like this
to turn into a relationship?"
I need to mention a couple of things here
before we go into this topic:
1. I don't normally talk about "relationships".
This isn't because I think that there's anything
wrong with them, or I have something against them.
In fact, I think that relationships are great, and
if you're fortunate enough to find an exceptional
woman (and you're the type that wants a
relationship), it can be a very fulfilling part of
life.
I've just decided to focus on the "meeting and
dating" part of the equation. There are 100 books
out there on relationships, but very few on how to
meet women in the first place (and in my
experience, most of the relationship books aren't
that great either).
So, don't take my lack of addressing
relationships as me thinking that you should avoid
them. If you want to have a relationship, go for
it.
2. The reason why I'd like to address this
question is I think many guys wonder if they
should do something DIFFERENT if they'd like to
pursue a relationship with a woman as opposed to
just dating her a few times for short-term fun.
I've also noticed a pattern: When a guy starts
to "like" a girl and feel the "I'd like to be in a
long-term relationship with this girl" feelings,
this can be a powerful emotional influence. Guys
often start acting differently WITHOUT EVEN
REALIZING IT, and then justify their new behavior
with the good reasoning of "I really like this
one."
...Soooo, I'm going to answer YOUR question by
answering the question "Should I do anything
DIFFERENT if I'd like this to turn into a
relationship?"
And hopefully in the process, you'll get a good
idea of what to do in your situation.
I have an idea... let's look at this from a few
different perspectives.
Let's think about some related questions, and
work through them to come up with an answer.
Here are a few that come to mind for me:
"If I act like I'm NOT interested in a
relationship, will that make a woman less
interested in me?"
"Are women automatically 'turned off' by guys who
aren't interested in relationships?"
"Are there clues or hints that women look for to
see whether you're interested in a 'short term' or
'long term' relationship... or a one-night stand?"
"Will a woman who thinks that you're interested in
a 'relationship' act differently towards you if
she doesn't KNOW what your intentions are?"
"Is it 'OK' to be NOT interested in a
relationship, but still want to meet and date a
woman?"
"How do women know when men ARE pursuing them for
a relationship? And how do women typically respond
to this?"
"Is there an attitude towards this whole subject
that not only works best, but is also the most
healthy?"
I'd like you to take a minute and answer these
questions the best you can, based on your own
ideas, experience, knowledge, etc.
These are great questions to ask yourself on a
regular basis, because they make you THINK about
things in a different way.
This ability to THINK ABOUT THINGS FROM
DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES will give you a much
clearer outlook when you're dealing with a
situation like this one.
Now I'll give you my general answers...
And a quick thought before I do give you my
answers: If you don't KNOW the answers to these
questions, and you don't already know how to
trigger the type of ATTRACTION inside a woman
that makes her want to be with you NO MATTER
what she wants, then you really need to go
and look at this right now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/


I personally think that women have a basic
program when it comes to men who are potential
romantic interests. It says, "If he chases me,
run. If he doesn't chase me, chase him."
Of course, this is a big generalization, and it
doesn't always hold true... but it's true enough
in most situations.
If you call a woman all the time, she'll
probably not call you. If you take a woman to
dinner 4 times in a week, she probably won't be
inviting you over for dinner at her place.
On the other hand, if you go out with a woman
and she has a GREAT time with you, then you don't
call for a couple of days, or maybe you call once
for 3 minutes to tell her that you're busy and
make plans for a few days later, SHE WILL BE
THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.
I also think that women have other little hints
that they look for to see if you're interested in
getting into a relationship.
Do you talk about having kids? Do you ask about
her family and relationships with them? Do you
answer HER questions about these things in a
serious way, as if you're being interviewed? Are
you acting stilted and nervous, as if something
huge is depending on her liking you? Do you call a
lot and get her gifts? Do you check up to see what
she's doing all the time, even though you don't
know her that well?
All of these things are hints that women use to
tell how "relationship-minded" you are with her.
If you do seem like you're into a relationship,
then a woman has a much bigger decision to make,
and will be taking all kinds of things into
consideration... little gestures will take on new
meaning.
If you're ONLY looking for a "relationship",
then this will come across in all your dealings
with women. You'll be asking different questions,
answering questions differently, and playing to
the long-term. This can create all kinds of
problems when done "too much too soon."
My personal experience is that women will act
much more "real" if you don't put any pressure on
the situation. It's when you're acting like this
is either "marriage or we're breaking up" right
from the beginning that you're ASKING FOR BIG
TROUBLE.
Another key point I've realized is that JUST
BECAUSE I AM OR AM NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP
DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M GOING TO KEEP FEELING THAT
SAME WAY A WEEK FROM NOW.
I've had times in my life when I've been single
and thinking, "I'm not into a relationship right
now", and then I met a fantastic woman who
changed my mind.
I've also had times when I wanted a
relationship, but had more fun being single, so I
didn't pursue one.
Best idea: Approach the whole topic with the
attitude of "I'm open to whatever great
opportunities present themselves."
When you're with a woman you've just met, don't
put the pressure on. Lean back. Be cool.
(ESPECIALLY if the woman is unusually attractive...
attractive women are used to men falling for them
too quickly, and this turns them off.)
If the topic comes up say, "Well, I'm single
now, and if I meet a woman I really like, then
we'll see what happens." A lot of guys don't
want to come across as being "afraid of
commitment." But don't go overboard to prove that
you're not... because you'll come across as a
Wuss-Bag if you try too hard. A woman won't run
away from you if you're not calling her 10 times a
day. In fact, she'll PROBABLY run if you DO call
her too often.
Another perspective I have is that a LOT of
relationship problems are the result of people who
don't know each other, getting involved too deeply
and too quickly. This is another great thing to
MENTION if a woman pushes you on the topic.
But, back to the particular situation at
hand...
I think you're doing EXACTLY the right thing
(except for the Wuss episode, of course).
You have a woman who lives a couple of hours
away that you've known in person for a couple of
days. You're not going to be able to spend much
time with her ANYWAY.
If I were you, and I REALLY liked her, I would
call her a couple of times a week, and see her
every week or two for a few months. Get to know
her better.
And in the meantime, if you want to see other
women, go for it. Do what feels right to you.
What you're doing now is OBVIOUSLY ATTRACTIVE
to her, so KEEP IT UP. Don't change what you're
doing because you ASSUME that she wants you to act
differently towards her to "signal" that you want
a relationship.
The relationship will evolve on its own, so let
it. You're not in middle school anymore. You don't
have to send her a note that says, "Will you go
with me?"
But, always remember, don't turn into a WUSSY
if you do get into a relationship. If you do,
you'll either find yourself being dumped or wake
up one day with a ring through your nose and a
leash around your neck... and an unhappy woman in
your life to boot.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
...and if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself, "OK, I've been reading these
newsletters for a while and it's probably time
that I learned the REAL stuff"...then come to my
website and download a copy of my book, "Double
Your Dating." Inside you'll learn many things that
you'll never read in one of these newsletters.
It's the foundation for everything I teach, and
it's all of my best thinking and techniques. Just
go to:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/


And if you're ready for SUPER success with
women and dating, then the only place to go is my
Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
I've spent years and years putting together all
of the pieces of the puzzle... and organizing the
concepts, theories and step-by-step techniques for
approaching, meeting, dating, and "getting
physical" with women... all with a minimum of
"rejection" and such.

How To Make A Woman Laugh

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave! I used your email close twice now and it
worked like magic both times: once with a
statuesque black woman, the other with a cute
Asian. Yeah!

One was in a bookstore, the other in a cafe: I
chatted for five minutes, started leaving, then
asked for email.

But what do I at a party where I'm likely to stay
for at least an hour? Pretend to leave, get email,
then stay!? What's the strategy here?

C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Isn't it amazing how easy it is to get an email
address from a woman you've just met? I didn't
believe it myself at first...

Well, it sounds like you have quite the diverse
taste in women... glad to hear that my techniques
cross all racial and cultural boundaries.

If you're at a party, the strategy is:

"Well, it was nice talking to you... I'm going
to get back to my friends... {turn away}... Hey,
do you have email?"

Then get her email and go back to your friends.
If she starts up a conversation again with you,
you now have all kinds of options.

Think about it.

And, if you or she leaves early, you can still
contact her later. Nice.

***QUESTION***
Hi,
I bought your book and its been money well spent
as far as I'm concerned. The email/phone approach
works like magic; I have never, ever gotten a
phone number in a bar before, and now I can! Also
the "are you touching me" line you mention in your
book is a real winner. And all the general advice
about body language, attitude, its all working.

So now I'm wondering if you can provide some
advanced know-how. The sort of girls I like are
the blonde, high-maintenance "Los Angeles" looking
babes, and they seem to be the hardest for me to
succeed with. Any suggestions on what I should be
doing to attract them? What look I need to have,
methods of approach, things to say, whatever...

(To explain where I'm coming from, I'm tall
(6'2"), thin but cut, average looking, run my own
business and make good money. I try to be both
funny and arrogant but am usually more funny than
arrogant. My style is goatee, black turtleneck,
khakis, black loafers.)

Thanks in advance for any extra tips you can
provide!

A.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Lease a Mercedes 500SL, get a big gold chain,
pretend to be a big-time producer, and make
references to your "connections".

The problem with the type of woman that you're
describing is that WOMEN DON'T ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE
THIS IN REAL LIFE. EVERY ONE OF THESE WOMEN IS
TRYING TO COMPENSATE FOR SOMETHING! And it's
usually something like, oh, self esteem,
insecurity, lack of attention from a father
figure, a neurotic need for approval... you get
the picture.

If you want a fake woman, then be a fake man.

Your other option, of course, is to TURN UP THE
MAGIC COCKY + FUNNY FORMULA TO THE MAX. You're
going to have to see her fake beauty and raise her
an arrogant attitude unseen since Ali.

Try it. If it isn't working, turn it up. You're
probably asking for trouble, but since you
asked...

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
Great book! It certainly makes much more sense to
bypass those "dating rules" that women seem always
play and make your own rules instead.

I do need your opinion here: I'm successful,
intelligent, cocky/funny (bordering on
a**hole/arrogant at times), not bad looking, and
in good shape. However, I'm Asian/American and
shorter than the average white male. On the
internet, I've had many comments how great I seem
until they learn that I'm Asian-- then I don't
hear from them again. In person, it's a slightly
different story because I can use funny/cocky,
which gives me better responses.

I know that Asian American males have always had
huge gripes about white women and even women of
their own race who will NOT date them because of
the stereotypical (nerdy, needy, backwards, or
arrogant, bad to women, philanderers... list goes
on) AA males that are always portrayed on TV and
movies. And also, you just hardly ever see AA
males with white women (especially in the white
suburbia where I happen to live).

Do you have any special advice here? Any
personality traits we should emphasize? Have you
seen AA males be successful using these techniques
and what have you observed?

Thanks,
J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I have an Asian friend who's probably about 5'
5" tall, and he's ALWAYS surrounded by young
women. And I mean surrounded. Like 5 or 6 at a
time. There are biases everywhere, in all
cultures... if you buy into them, then they apply
to you. If you don't, then they don't.

Whose reality do you live in anyway? Yours? Or
hers?

***QUESTION***
Hi, this maybe a dumb question but what does
"cocky" mean and can you provide me some examples.

Thanks,
R.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The formula is:

COCKY+FUNNY
Cocky alone is not attractive. Arrogance repels
people like bad breath. But a FUNNY arrogance...
Ahhh, that's the stuff that miracles are made of.

The cocky man says, "You are acting like a
little girl, and it's annoying me."

The cocky+FUNNY man says, "If you keep acting
like a brat I'm going to spank you like a red-
headed-step-child." (The usual response is
"Ooohhh, be careful, I might like that.)

No, really.

A cocky+funny man is always on the lookout for
an opportunity to show off his arrogant humor.

She gives a compliment on the clothing...
Cocky+Funny Man says:

"I just met you and you're already starting
with the compliments. Look, I'm not going home
with you. I'm not that easy."

I've just placed a pearl of wisdom before you.
If I were you, I'd pick it up, look at it from
many angles, and improvise variations. This is
magic waiting to happen.

**QUESTION***
"HEY DAVE! I have a teensy weensy little questions
for you, but first I'd like to say that your book
kicks serious butt!! I have had more luck with
women since I got it... Not that I really needed
it or anything, (cough cough) ahem! Anyways, now
to my question.

1)I know how to be cocky, I know how to be funny,
I treat women the special attractive way they
should be treated... but I have no clue whatsoever
as to what signs a woman will give off when she is
feeling attracted, I keep doing silly, stupid
things like um... backing off afterward 'cause I'm
not sure what her reaction meant, which I am
positive is a problem.

So if you could help me here I would be most
obliged

J."

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The main sign that a woman gives off is VERY
simple to spot:

SHE KEEPS TALKING TO YOU.

You can stop clapping. I know it was profound.

But really, if a woman isn't interested, she
won't keep talking to you. She'll start looking
around, acting bored out of her skull, or moving
around in an uncomfortable manner.

The first minute or two is often like this
anyway as two people begin a conversation... but
if it continues past about 3-5 minutes, you need
to move on and try to be a little less boring with
the next girl!

I knew you would find my answer profound... but
if you're still waiting for her to tilt her head,
lick her lips, and twirl her hair then you need to
stop reading books published by guys that have
nothing better to do than spend 25 years watching
people in bars and writing down what they do.

It's simple:

1) Meet girl
2) Get email and number
3) Invite for tea and stimulating conversation
4) Meet and tease, be cocky & funny
5) If she's not psycho, invite her over
6) Use The Kiss Test
7) Don't screw it up!

I may have oversimplified a bit here, but I
think you get the idea. Don't worry about what
she's thinking... just do what you know is
ATTRACTIVE, and then lead. Things will work
themselves out if you keep doing the right things.

***SUCCESS STORY/QUESTION***
David,
Been reading your newsletter, and bought your
book. I've read it once and will read it again for
better comprehension.

Success Story:

In the meantime, I've been putting into practice
what you teach. I wanted to share this success
story with your readers, as an example of how well
this stuff can work.

At a bar with a bunch of friends for a stag party.
Took the stag-boy around the bar to get his t-
shirt signed by all the women (this is a great way
to meet and talk with every woman in the bar).
Anyway, later I saw a blonde that I had talked to
earlier. She was talking with 3 guys. I went
over and tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey
can I talk with you a minute?" and walked away
about 10 feet.

She came over, I used your email/phone # material,
and gave her pen and paper to write it down. You
should have seen the looks on the faces of the
three guys who were just talking to her. It was
worth it just for that.

I got 4 numbers that night and have been out with
2 of those women.

Question:

Like many other guys who write you, I've been
trying to develop the cocky-funny attitude. I've
watched most of the comedians and movies you
suggested in your book. I'm working hard on this
but it's just moving along slowly.

Now that getting emails/numbers isn't a problem,
and even getting dates (although I know I could do
better if I was more cocky-funny) is now more
possible, I now have run into a whole new problem:
how to create tension/tease/act cocky-funny on the
first date so that SHE calls ME for the second
date (hopefully cooking a meal at her place).

Anything you suggest for us guys at this stage of
our learning that isn't already in your book would
be most helpful.

Thanks,
S.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You're doin' great... and you'll figure it out
as you go.

One of the best things you can do is to take
out a pen and paper, and write down the ten most
common situations that you find yourself in, then
write down some cocky, funny lines to use.

For instance, you might write:

End Of Date
1) Say to her, "Now don't call me three times a
day... I had fun too, but no stalking"

2) Kiss her and say, "Call me"

3) Tell her, "I'm busy tomorrow, but if you tempt
me with a good enough offer, I might make time for
you the next night..."

Are you feelin' me?

Just work out the different situations on paper
first, then do them in real life. You're on the
right track.

If you REALLY want to learn how to master the
art of taking things from one step to the next
with a woman in a SMOOTH way... you should also
check this out:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/

***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
You've guessed it - the magic formula is working.
I went for 10 years with only 3 women, and in the
last 3 months, since I read the book, I've slept
with 3 more. The C&F theory is 100%. I picked up
one girl at supermarket, got her email, sent her
an email, got a date, left early ("got to go - too
busy, sorry...", waited 10 days, got another date,
asked her if she'd like to see me again, told her
"I think you should, because I'm almost perfect"
(she laughed), kissed her and you can guess the
rest...This stuff is dynamite. I'm a good looking,
successful 36 year old (separated), but I act an
idiot in front of women - or used to. Now I feel
*totally* in control, and am enjoying playing with
your ideas. Spot on!

D.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Isn't it amazing what a little attitude
adjustment can do? I appreciate your email because
a lot of guys don't realize that JUST BEING GOOD
LOOKING doesn't do it. In fact, I know more
average looking guys who are successful with women
that "good looking" guys who are. Funny, isn't it?

Actually, it's COCKY and funny. Ba-Dum-Bum.

***QUESTION***
Dear David,
I met this girl on the internet and we have been
out twice. On the computer and on the phone she's
all sweet and inviting but in person she is
entirely different. On our second date she told me
that she didn't feel "connected" with me.
Meanwhile I have been nothing but a gentleman to
this woman. Help, what did I do wrong.

Sincerely,
B.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I have two ideas for you:

1) Stay tuned and read every email that you get
from me.

2) http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/

And listen to the little audio clip at the end
of the second page. You need to learn that
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE. And it isn't logical.

Again, stay tuned.

***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I spend a lot of time in the library these days
studying for an exam - Psychology of all things-
but it hasn't helped because oftentimes I see an
attractive girl at the next table or perhaps a
cute girl walks past - never to be seen again. My
problem is that I'm totally at a loss as to what
to say and how to arrange it so we meet in what
seems like a natural and unsuspicious way. I can't
just go up to a study-table and suddenly introduce
myself and I'm certainly not going to follow
anyone around. Any suggestions?

S.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Like I say in my book "Double Your Dating"...
women KNOW what you're doing when you approach
them. Heck, even if you're just being nice and
friendly they'll SUSPECT that you're picking up on
them.

So, get over this "unsuspicious way" idea.

What... do you want to start talking about math
or anthropology, then slide in under her radar
with your smooth Mac Daddy techniques... and have
her wake up enamored with you?

Well, now that I put it this way...

Just sit close and start up a conversation. Ask
them what they're studying. Say anything. Then be
cocky & funny. Say you have to go, that it's been
nice chatting... and "Hey, do you have email?"

Quit trying to be the "Secret Agent Mac" of the
campus. And besides, women think that men who are
self conscious approaching them are WUSSIES.

And, in case you didn't know this, WUSSIES
DON'T GET WOMEN ALL HOT AND BOTHERED.

Revenge Of The Nerds will NEVER happen to you.
***QUESTION***

David,
First of all, I've got to say that your advice is
brilliant! There's a lot of con-men out there
selling silver bullets for guys women problems,
but you're writing makes you figure out what works
best for you. Since I've started following the
Cocky-Funny approach, I've noticed better results
with women in general.

Recently, I was out with a group of friends for
someone's birthday. I met this great chick who we
both have mutual friends with. Well needless to
say we both were attracted to one another and were
dancing in the club later with each other. One of
my friends was talking to her and then afterwards
she went a bit cold on me. He told me later that
she said she liked me but had just started going
out with another guy for 2 weeks.

Now I'm not one to try and steal another guys
girl, but I felt that the two of us really
connected and would like to see this girl. I
haven't got her number, but my friend has a good
excuse to ring her and I know I will be seeing her
again in a couple of weeks through friends. Well
my question David is this. You're tips helped make
her attracted to me, but what can I do if she's
still unsure about what to do with her current
relationship?

I'd really appreciate your advice!

J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, if you haven't read my book, then you
need to get it ASAP and learn how to use the
"friendship" approach with women.

I think that most guys are just too damn
anxious to get their willies wet sometimes.
Instead of trying to convince her to leave some
guy she's been dating for two weeks based on a few
dances, instead say:

"It was nice meeting you, you seem like you
might make a nice FRIEND. Maybe we can have coffee
sometime."

Get it?

I've learned the hard way that it's much better
to get to know a woman as a friend FIRST anyway.
It puts you in the right frame of mind, and you
get to learn a few things about her before you
apply all of your serious advanced smooth-mac
tactics (and very well may just save you from a
neurotic experience of the unwanted kind).

When you say "friends" first, it says all the
right things. Think about it.

***EMAIL OF THE WEEK***
I have a question about fat womens. if a women sit
in the house all day worry about things and
trying to destroy my career of making music and
looking for some attention and money should i get
rid of the fat pig or stay with her till things
blow and hit her like a punching bag to settle her
emotions down? she not my girlfriend she just a
sick women who was cool with me since my youth but
she hates everything I'm into. well I'm ready to
treat her like dirt as far the game go she play to
talk trash about my talent and putting her nose in
my business.what should I do punch her like a pimp
or kick the fat bic.. to the curb.(we ain,t got
anything in command)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I have to warn you beforehand, I'm not a
qualified relationship expert or licensed
practitioner, but I may be able to offer you some
insight.

It sounds to me like your relationship could
possibly have eroded beyond repair. Again, I'm not
a qualified expert, but this is just my personal
intuition.

In addition, I realize that on occasion a woman
can behave in a way that is unsettling, but
violence is never an acceptable way to settle a
dispute of this nature.

In other words I just don't think that if you
"punch her like a pimp" that it's going to solve
anything.

Good luck with your "...career of making music
and looking for some attention and money..."

*** I know, it just isn't possible that someone
could have sent me this letter... but sometimes
life is just this way. I cut and pasted it exactly
as it was sent to me... with no edits. Unreal.***

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave, I wrote you last week saying that I really
like this girl and wanted to "push her over the
edge" and get her to see me more. Well, I took
your advice and waited for her to call me. Well,
she did, and everything that you said would happen
did. She told me that she is used to guys calling
her all of the time and bugging her and that I am
the first guy she's gone out with that didn't try
to call her and ask her out every day. Needless
to say she asked ME if she could see ME more. It
worked like a charm and she spent the night last
night (it was worth the wait). Just wanted to say
thanks for the help and that you are cool as hell
for helping guys to quit acting like "wusses".
Thanks buddy.

-D
>>>MY COMMENTS:

What else can I say? NICE!

I should invent a cream called "WUSS-BE-
GONE"... or maybe "WUSS-AWAY"... you could rub it
on yourself and it would overcome the urge to call
women and beg for their attention. I could sell it
for $100.00 a tube. Hmmmmm... I'll have to see if
I can scare up some venture capital for this one.
I'll keep you posted.

...and that about wraps up another one.

I'm still trying to recover from the comedy
above... I really hate my job.

If you found this particular discussion
interesting, then you probably need to learn the
DEEPER secrets of how to be more successful with
women and dating. And if you're ready, then it's
probably time for you to step up and get yourself
an education about how to attract women and KEEP
them attracted. And the best education in the
world is my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
It's over 12 full hours of me teaching all of my
very best concepts.

This program will teach you everything from how
to overcome your fears of women to how to take
things to a "physical" level without running into
rejection. It is literally JAM PACKED with
HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of amazing step-by-step
techniques for overcoming all of your obstacles
and getting to the point in your life where you
have the kind of success that you've always wanted
with women.

I'll send it to you to try with zero risk, and
it comes shipped in a plain box for your privacy.
Can't beat that deal... Go check out the great
free samples here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/

...and, if you're reading this right now and
you haven't yet downloaded your copy of my online
eBook "Double Your Dating", I have something to
tell you...

My eBook is the foundation for everything that
I teach in these newsletters, and it's the
foundation for my Advanced Dating Techniques
Program. If you haven't read it, go download it
right now:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/

And again: if you're interested in learning
more about how to use Cocky & Funny to attract
women, then you MUST go check out my Cocky Comedy
CD/DVD Program. You can watch some good preview
video clips here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/CockyComedy/

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,
David D.

Using "Mixed Messages" To Create Attraction

***QUESTION***
Hey Dave, how's it hanging?

Read your stuff...interesting. Makes a lot of
sense to appear different then all the others. I
have one question, however. This C&F stuff (can I
call it "friendly mocking"?) really only works on
women who are sure of themselves and who will not
take your jokes to the heart. But how many of
those are in the world? I mean, with today's
"perfect" pop-stars most women have at least some
insecurities. So, how can you use this technique
and not accidentally hit a weak spot? Is there a
neutral C&F approach?

J Brooklyn, NY
>>>MY COMMENTS:

I think you're hitting on an important point
here.

I think that a lot of guys "secretly" want to
figure out a way to meet women without RISKING
anything.

This is probably why personal ads and online
dating web sites are so popular.

The problem with not wanting to RISK anything
is that it creates a mindset that leads to being
AVERAGE.

And "average" doesn't create ATTRACTION.

I teach guys to use a specific kind of humor
that I call "Cocky & Funny".

One of the purposes of the Cocky & Funny
technique is to clearly demonstrate that you are
NOT intimidated by a woman, and to INSTANTLY
communicate that you are DIFFERENT from other men.

You'd like to know the magic way to "not
accidentally hit a weak spot"...

But guess what?

Accidents happen.

Risk is part of life.

Don't worry so much about hitting a "weak spot"
while you're teasing or busting on a woman... just
concern yourself with making sure you're being
FUNNY while you're doing it.

If you meet a woman who is so sensitive that
she can't take a joke, or you "accidentally" over
do it, don't worry about it. No biggie.

She's probably either too uptight or
emotionally fragile for you to have a good time
with anyway.

If you want to make a cake, you have to break a
few eggs, man.

Remember, your objective isn't to be MEAN to
women, or to hurt them... your objective is to use
a specific type of humor to create ATTRACTION.

And give up this "neutral" idea. Neutral is
BORING. And Boring is NOT the way to create
ATTRACTION.

***QUESTION***
David "The Man"--
First of all, your Advanced CD Series is THE most
definitive exhaustive resource on dating ever
written. It boggles my mind that nobody ever
figured this stuff out before. You are the
research scientist that broke the mold of all that
bookstore fluff, the Darwin of Dating.

I can now approach and get the email of a woman
who would have made me shake in my boots just a
few months ago. My most recent success was a girl
I dated who I turned up the C+F to the max, but my
old inner wussy made a brief appearance and that
was that. Oh well. "Next!" I'll get better and
better.

I have improved quite a bit, but I'm looking for
some guy friends as you suggest. However, I'm
having a problem finding guys who are good with
women. I'm not seeing them. All I see everywhere
I go are wusses. Any thoughts or ideas?

I've also thought about finding friends who are
students of yours so we can get together for team
efforts. Any suggestions here?

Thanks again for the incredible impact you've had
on my life.

J.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, I have one thought for you...

This "Everywhere I go all I see is wusses"
thing can be a challenge. I shake my head almost
every single time I go out, because I think we're
in the middle of a WUSS EPIDEMIC in this country.

Keep looking.

It's worth it.

If you have to, ask friends and associates at
work if they know any guys who are really good
with women.

And remember, be cool. Guys who are good with
women often like to help other guys learn. But
don't be a boat anchor around his neck...

If you do your homework and find some guys who
can help you, it will REALLY pay off.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Sir,
I received one of you Q&A emails by mistake, I'm
sure. I am an intelligent, female professional and
I reall-ll-ll-lly had a good laugh after reviewing
your web site as well.

If you think that ALL women will be turned on by
these things, you are very mistaken. The classy,
sophisticated, and well educated as well as
intriguing and very attractive will have totally
different opinions on all these subjects. I think
you would do better to consider your experience as
incomplete.

However, I'm sure you are making an obscene
amount of money by offering this misinformation
for sale to men.

Laughing Uncontrollably in Alaska
>>>MY COMMENTS:

An intelligent female professional that lives
in ALASKA?

Don't even get me started there...

And since you seem to be claiming here that
you're an AUTHORITY on "The classy, sophisticated,
and well educated... as well as intriguing and
very attractive" women... I have to ask you where
you're getting this particular education...
Alaska?

Maybe those words mean something different
where you're from.

Whatever.

Look, I used to be a "nice", sweet, BORING guy
who did nice things for women, acted respectful,
and generally was everything I thought a "good
guy" should be.

And my success with meeting and attracting
women was horrible.

I had a few good relationships with attractive
women, but these were ACCIDENTAL. It only happened
because I was in the right place at the right
time, and because the women just happened to have
NOTHING BETTER GOING ON.

Now that I do what I teach, I'm able to attract
beautiful women whenever I want.

You do the math.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Hey Dave,
I forward your news letter to my ex-husband and to
my other male friends and they all thanked me for
it. I agree with all of your advice. It's kind of
scary how well you read women. You have also
helped me to realize what I'm attracted to and
why. Take care!

S MD
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, it's OK for you to admit that you're
attracted to ME.

I don't blame you.

You forgot to include your picture, dear.

Waiting patiently.

Your friend,
David D.

P.S. Stop forwarding these emails to your Ex.
It's bad enough that you love me... but to add
insult to injury for the poor guy...

***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
So, I go into a shoe store the other day and I'm
just kind of browsing. The clerk-- a cutie of age
21--asks me if she can help me. I kindly ask her
to get me a certain pair to try on. As I put the
shoes on, she enthusiastically squeaked, "WOW
THOSE SHOES LOOK GREAT ON YOU!!!". I mocked her in
the same hi-pitch tone, "YOU'RE ON COMMISION YOU
NEED TO SAY THAT!!" She gave me that playful
little slap on the arm and told me I was "a little
sh**". I go on teasing her for 5 minutes or so
and she asks me if I would like a job at this
store. When she gave me the application, she also
hands me her HOME ADDRESS and phone number and
asked me to hand deliver it that night. To keep it
short, that nite I gave her more than my job
resume!!!

Now, David, the previous situation is very unusual
for me, as I rarely have much to say, period. I've
always been very shy and very quiet but am
starting to come out of that. I'm not scared to
approach women or anything but I just don't know
how to start or keep conversation, you know? I've
read books on this, listened to tapes and nothing
seems to help. Dave, I need some advice!!!

DK Indiana
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, nice one!

Great example of how to use Cocky & Funny with
a woman!

And as for meeting women, stop worrying about
STARTING OR KEEPING CONVERSATIONS GOING.

Just walk up to women, get their phone numbers,
and then get together with them later for a cup of
tea.

No "starting of conversations" required.

Use my 3 minute email/number technique, and
then break out your killer sense of humor later
when you're alone with her.

You're doing fine... don't worry about
"conversations".

And if you do wind up in a conversation, just
start out by talking about normal things, then
transition into the Cocky & Funny material as you
progress.

***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I have been receiving your emails for a while now
and boy have they been working. As a matter of
fact, I was actually using the C/F all the time,
without even realizing it. For example,

In one of my classes there is this girl that acts
weird most of the time (she's a solid 9.5) and one
day she was talking to me, and I just turned
around and said to my friend: "Did you say mental
hospital?" I got a shot in the arm for that one.
I kept unknowingly using C/F on her for maybe
three days and then after one C/F comment she
replied (with her hand on my shoulder): "I like
you, you make me laugh" then she winked and turned
around. I was shocked! I mean, I had basically
been making fun of her. Little did I know that I
had been doing everything right (this was before I
started getting your emails).

So anyway, my question. I have no problems meeting
women in malls, on campus etc, but what about
online? Are there any C/F comments I can use to
start a conversation? The only ones I can think of
are when they have ridiculous/absurd chat names.

Thanks
A
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, one of the GREAT things about teasing
women is that you can basically GUESS things about
them and they'll respond.

For instance, if you're talking to a woman
online, and you haven't seen her picture, you can
say:

"OK, you're probably some hairy, manly, seven
hundred pound beast... and that's why you haven't
sent me your picture..."

(Use this kind of thing when she says that
she's a model or dancer, etc. and it's obviously
not even close.)

The bolder you are, and the funnier, the better
you'll do when guessing.

Try it, you'll like it.

***QUESTION***
Dave-
Whussup Man? Well I'm not gonna waste your time
or mine telling you about how great your teaching
and knowledge is, because we both already know
what's up! I'm a 19 yr old who has downloaded your
ebook and I've read about the last 20+ emails..
I'm learning a lot. But I'm not where I want to be
yet.

Well here is what happened. I had lady friend
of mine over to the house the other night. Now we
have been friends for a little while now and I
have to tried in the past to pursue this woman but
like a lot of males in the world.. I would always
turn wussy on her. This women is about 5'
nothing',
with a beautiful mind and a beautiful body, (she
is a 8 or 9 on my scale, and I'm picky.)*the radio
is ON* We haven't talked in a while so we caught
up on each others lives..had some laughs with the
cocky/funny attitude and I even fixed dinner! Well
I told her before I made dinner that when we
finished eating she owed me a 30 min. massage. She
said okay. Now, we get done eating and she tells
me to dim the lights and lay down. She tells me
she is goin' to wash her hands and never comes
back.. SHE LEFT!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!

JF from Texas
>>>MY COMMENTS:

What happened?

You went and spanked your chicken with reckless
abandon?

You cried yourself to sleep?

lol... it's probably horrible that I'm laughing
at your misery, but hey, these things happen.

Don't worry about it, man.

Next time, try making something other than
"Hamburger Helper" with rainbow popsicles for
dessert.

I think you're gonna live.

The problem is that you acted like a WUSSY for
so long, that the thought of you being anything
more than a friend made her RUN all the way home.

You created your own problem, by trying to make
a girl who was convinced that you were a Wuss into
something more than a friend. It's not easy.

***COMMENT***
Today I met an ex-girlfriend (and now good friend
and occasional date) for lunch at an Indian
buffet. This is a woman who has commented in the
past that she didn't like my cocky side (either I
wasn't doing it right, or she was lying), so I was
looking for a good opportunity to segue into a C&F
routine and see how it affected her. At one point
she complained that the bread was cold, and that I
should go get some fresh stuff...

ME: What's in it for me? {unoriginal line} HER:
I'll stay and finish lunch at your table.
Otherwise, I'll go get the bread and sit over
there by myself. {great answer!} ME: Well,
that'd be embarrassing. HER: Yup. ME: Everyone in
the restaurant would think that you had to
move because you've got real bad gas.

And it went from there. You could see her eyes
getting brighter throughout the conversation, and
it ended with:

HER: Wow, you're feisty today... ME: Yeah, so...?
HER: So, it's really... attractive. ME {laughing}:
Boy, you're easy today...

That's a confession straight from the source:
feisty = attractive. And she went on to
demonstrate her attraction after lunch in an
unusually aggressive manner. I think everything
you're saying is capital-T Truth, brother.

You know, people assume that Kissinger was talking
about political power being the ultimate
aphrodisiac, but I think there are many nuances to
the word "power", and you don't have to be a
senator or CEO to exploit it.

Interesting aside: I was discussing this with an
insightful female friend, and she agreed with
everything you say, and added that women don't
want to be our mothers... and if we treat them
like we treat our mothers (i.e., act like a wuss),
what does that say?

C.K.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Amen, brother. Amen.

Feisty, Sassy, Cheeky, Ballsy... = ATTRACTION.

***QUESTION***
hey dave-lets get to the chase. 2 things (first
the success story).. i met this chik who was
getting off work..yelled out "HEY!" and she came
over to me.. i started talking about anything and
everything to get/keep her attention..busting on
her and all ..she gave me her # after 20 minutes..
BUt i didn't call. then i ran into her again in
the
neighborhood but this time i did the same thing
"whats your # again?" and then finally i wrote it
down and scored on the second meeting after
coffee.. the stuff works bro

now for the wuss part..i meet this chik last
summer who was in town for her job assignment that
lasted for 1 month. Shes a real player. We met
again after the party (she called me and said hey
I'm coming over) and within 30 minutes she was in
my bed in her bra/panties BUT i didn't do anything
cause she was complaining about how guys are such
dogs. so i didn't do anything for the next 5
meetings. She said "I'm glad you never did
anything
cause we still wouldn't be talking if u did".
Anyway, last time we meet she invites me AND 4
other guys for dinner. she sits on their laps
(just like she did with me) to make me jealous. we
have kept in touch for 5 months and next month
she'll be back for a 2 week visit. i have heard
shes talking to 5 other guys in town besides me.
whenever i confront her on the phone about these
guys she says "nooo! I'm not! and I've never slept
with any of them so ignore the rumors! who do you
believe them or me??!" she called me 1 month ago
and let my phone ring once, and then when i called
her back it was a guys voice (she moved in with
her "friend" from high school)

my question is: i told her how i felt about her
and she already said she just wants to be friends
because she travels around a lot. she'll be
staying with 1 or 2 of these guys shes talking to
when she comes back and will try to make me sooo
jealous i know it. she called me last week and
actually asked me for one of these guys numbers. I
got angry and hung up on her (something i would
never have done before) and then she called me
back and actually seems a lot more interested.
Then i called her yesterday from work and told her
that a stripper approached me at a bar and asked
me out and then this girl said "ohh well why don't
you go out with her then?" but then said "OH by
the way Im coming back on APRIL 21st".. i want to
beat her at her own damn game! but i already gave
her so much power. i wish i could just take it all
back and make her feel the same way.

HOW DO I HANDLE THIS GIRL:??? SHES DRIVING ME
NUTS!!!

CJ
Houston,TX
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, this is actually a very powerful story.

First, she intimidated you by telling you that
"guys are dogs"... which caused you to not try to
take things to a physical level.

When you did that, YOU FAILED THE FIRST TEST.

She intimidated you with her words!

Then, the more you pursued her without
progressing, the more she tested you.

Until she finally started INSULTING you...
right in front of a bunch of other guys!

By the way, when you mentioned that after you
hung up on her she seemed a lot more interested...
it's probably true.

Look, man.... BAIL! Drop it. Hit the road.

You screwed up in the beginning by handing over
control of the relationship to her, and it's not
worth the trouble or hassle to try to take it
back.

She's probably the type of girl that LOVES to
play guys and make them chase her... and who
enjoys seeing how much a guy will do to get her...
only to leave after he does all he can.

Move on.

But remember the lesson. Steer clear of women
like this in the future.

Note: If you've read this story, and you can
IDENTIFY with this guy who wrote it... and you
know what it feels like to want a woman, but be
completely OUT OF CONTROL of the situation... then
I recommend that you work on your INNER GAME as
much as possible. Self Image and Self Esteem are
keys in this area, as they help you pass these
"tests" that women throw at you... and they help
you raise your standards, and avoid unhealthy
women. If what I'm saying is making sense to you,
then you should go RIGHT NOW and check out my DEEP
INNER GAME DVD/CD program. This program will help
you out in this area more than any other program
ANYWHERE:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame/

***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave
For the past 6 weeks I've been hearing...

"You scare me" (said jokingly) "I never know if
you're being serious" "You know what I love about
you? You make me laugh..."

... and its all down to you.

Dave, you are "da man", so I just wanted to say a
huge thank you and tell you what happened - all
thanks to your newsletters and amazing book

I got in touch with D via a personals web site, we
started emailing, and I started the C&F. The first
date was amazing. We went out to lunch - I never
laid off the C&F and she was lapping it up. We
went back to her place and started getting "cosy"
(with the comments "I don't normally do this on a
first date"). I had to leave for another
engagement but she desperately wanted me to stay!!
So I went back on the Sunday and we've been
together ever since.

Dave, you have saved another lost soul. Once
again, a huge thank you.

R England
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Hey, you're welcome.

Cash donations are welcome, along with large
gifts and other favors (no, I don't want a kiss).

Just make sure you keep doing what worked to
begin with, and don't turn into a WUSSY!

***QUESTION***
David,
First, I LOVE your Advanced Dating Techniques CD
program. Everyone; do yourself a favor, BUY
David's stuff! It's EXCELLENT!!! Well worth the
INVESTMENT in YOURSELF!!!

This past Thursday, I was on a second date with
this attractive female. Been using the c&f on
both dates and she eating eating it up. Anyway,
we end up back at her place. First, we get there
and I sit back on the couch. She asks if I want a
drink, so I tell her NO. Suggesting that she is
just trying to get me drunk. We watch TV for a
little bit; then when I was thirsty, I got up and
asked her if she wanted a drink.She said no, so
when I went to her fridge and I asked her what do
you want me to bring you back, because I'm not
drinking alone. After we both finish our first
drink, I lean over and pecked her on the lips. She
tried to kiss me back and I told her to settle
down and go get us another drink, which she did.

....Fast forward, after a night of everything, but
sex (I didn't have a condom), as I was kissing her
good night (she wanted me to stay, but I was
leaving for a trip Friday morning, so I told her
No.)

she said, "I'm going to regret not sleeping with
you in the morning."

I smile and kiss her.

She said, "Maybe next time."

I said, "Maybe."

Then she said, "or the time after that." That
light bulb my David D. light bulb went on, this
preparedst.

Being prepaid I said, "What makes you think I'll
want to have sex with you next time? Or the time
after that?"

She said, "You're a guy and that's what all guys
want."

I said, "Maybe I'll only kiss you next time."

She said, "I hope we'd AT LEAST do that."

Driving the nail home that I was in control and
she wasn't going to use sex as a weapon, I said,
"Fine, then hand holding it is."

She said, "Hand holding?"

hand-holding, "Yes, you've been promoted to
hand holding."

She said, "How is that a promotion?"

I kissed her and said, "I'll tell you next time."
and left. Needless to say, next time I'll score,
if I want to. LOL!!! Of course I will, because
that's what all guys want. hehehehe!!! This
stuff is GREAT!

I haven't finished cd 10 or 11 yet, but I do have
a question about paying? When is it appropriate
to let her pay? How often? How do I let her pay
without being perceived as a wussy?

Thanks again. You have changed my life for the
better. I now get it. Plus, it's fun to watch
the guys who Chicago-land This stuff is VERY
POWERFUL, use it with caution.

J Chicagoland
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Very nice.

Mixed messages, teasing, stepping back, making
her feel anticipation and want it badly... GREAT.

This is a great example of how to handle a
situation like this one.

As far as letting women pay...

The whole topic of "paying" is kind of a pain.

It has gotten into many women's heads that if a
guy pays it means that he's a "gentleman" and if
he doesn't it means that "he's not".

***SUCCESS STORY***
Howdy, Dave -- I wrote to you about a year ago
with what I thought was a great "Success Story"
involving a biker chick. She was just so hot, and
she came on to me right in front of her biker
boyfriend, after I busted on her about how I
thought only good-looking women got to ride on
Harleys. Well, she turned out to be one sick
puppy. Chock full of really strange mental and
personality things. Well, I kept being C&F with
other women while I was dating this chick -- and
I'm sure glad I said, "No" when she wanted to move
in with me! Anyhow, to make a long story a bit
shorter, I'm now involved with a 50 year-old 10.
Perhaps a 10.5!! I'm 55, average looking,
divorced x2, definitely not wealthy, etc, etc. I
treated this woman as if she was my "bratty little
sister" and after a couple months of banter, she
asked me for a date! I had not even bought her a
cuppa! Anyhow, we have been dating since last
summer, and back around Christmastime, I started
getting wussyfied with her. I saw immediately
that it was not the right thing to do. She began
to withdraw, so I did not call her or see her for
a week. It was tough to pull back and get back to
doing the right things. (No, I didn't have dreams
of you bitch-slapping me! I got that vicariously
in your emails!!) My point is this -- if it works,
keep doing it!! Don't stop. And, as soon as you
realize you've reverted, AS SOON AS, get back to
right behavior. This woman loves me even more now
because I was able to backpedal quickly. Pay
attention to yourself and what you are doing and
saying, guys! Don't ever go back to wussiness.
Wussy only works with your mom, and you don't want
to date her, do you? Pay attention to yourself and
what you are doing and saying! Be in control of
your life.

Thanks, Mr. Dave. G from Colorado
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Exactly... do what works, and if you start
slipping, pull back and then get back with the
program.

Good job, and keep it up.

Thanks for the email.

***QUESTION***
Here's a Q for you...I haven't ordered you CD's
yet, I've been reading your emails and taking in
the info slowly, but I'll definitely do so soon.
On the issue of being generous....It has always in
my nature to be generous of myself unconditionally
with most people I like, but I don't give away my
life just for attention or to "buy" people's
friendship, and certainly for a woman's attention,
I have always known that just doesn't work. I come
from a family in which it is natural for us to be
generous as a matter of good form, but never
beyond the means available. It's a cultural trait
I guess. Being tight and always expecting a reward
for everything is neurotic anyways. Problem is
between women and I is that I have no problem with
doing a small favor for a woman just out of what I
feel is just decency. But I don't expect to
immediately jump in the sack with her. It's a
paradox for me. Like going to a club and buying
some woman a drink, but not expecting anything in
return except having a good time and just getting
along. Maybe it's a good way to sort out the
user/flaky types from the cool and normal types,
doing a small favor and seeing how they react.
I've had good results from controlling how much I
will give, and sometimes throwing in some humor
like this "O.K. one drink ( sly grin he re) but if
you
start stumbling around I'm not paying your cab
fare
home!", This always gets a laugh and loosens up
the woman, and keeps me in control(I think)
without seeming that I'm a sucker or trying to buy
her attention. What is your view on this kind of
thing? Oh, another thing I'll do is _not_ get
clingy if I do something like that..in fact I've
found that if I just walk away and find something
to do for a few minutes( talk to a friend or even
go to the bathroom or whatever that) right after
doing a small favor, and allowing some "breathing
space", that the next time around they get at ease
and usually a good conversation usual starts
leading to and exchange of digits. Do you think
I'm on the right track? or is it too
"friendly"(read doomed wuss)?

Thanks C.M.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a great question.

I think that most of us REALLY want to be
"good" to women... we want to do nice things,
treat women well, and "take care" of them.

I can understand your generosity mindset, and I
actually admire you for having an "abundance"
mentality.

But I'm going to present you with another way
of looking at things... one that might really help
you.

What if you thought of "generosity" a little
differently?

What if you were to realize that being
"generous" with a woman sometimes means to ACT
like you're being NOT generous at all?

What if you were to see that if you were too
"generous" at first, that a woman would SUSPECT
that you were only being generous to MANIPULATE
her?

It's not you.

It's that women are so used to men trying to do
things for them in order to get attention and sex
in return that they:

1) See this kind of generosity as "average" and
expected behavior... and immediately slot you into
the "regular, nice guy" category when you do it.

2) Often see generosity as a form of manipulation,
whereby a man uses gifts and dinners to set up a
situation where the women feels that she needs to
"put out" in return.

Lean back.

Be generous LATER, when it will be perceived to
be more authentic and special.

It sounds to me like you're a genuinely good
guy.

The challenge is getting a woman's attention
for long enough that you can actually SHOW her
this side of you, and have it not come across as
"ass kissing" behavior.

***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
First, let me say how powerful your techniques
are. A lot of the methods you teach have been part
of my success in the past; I just didn't realize
it until I started using your various Double Your
Dating materials!

I'm from Manhattan, New York; and I work in
probably one of the best places in the world to
find unbelievably beautiful women; the "fashion
district." In this part of NYC, their are hordes
of models going from fittings to fittings, to
photo shoots etc. Here is a real-world example of
your excellent teachings in action!

#1, when I go out to lunch; I don't go to a fast
food joint, I go to a salad bar (these are very
popular in this part of town). The theory being
that, I desire a girl with a great figure, and
fast food is not the path to one, so I hit the
salad spots! Recently, I see this very well known
model (who happens to have a major modeling
contract with a cosmetics company) at my favorite
lunch spot, waiting on line to pay for her salad.
She is of course an absolute 10, wearing a super
sexy outfit complete with some killer stiletto
style heels; so I see my 'in.' I walk up behind
her and say "what is up with those shoes," in
*almost* a disapproving way. She gives a half
glance towards me and says in a slightly confused,
self conches way "what, their Jimmie Choo's."
Still looking down, I respond "their sharp." She
responds "thanks." At this point, I'm still just
not much more than another guy looking to get her
attention, in her eyes. So I respond "that wasn't
a complement, I'm saying that they're SHARP; like
they could be used as a weapon!" She responds with
a big smile. At this point, the woman at the
register says "next! {we both walk to the
register} Are you together" I quickly respond "no-
way did you see those weapons she calls shoes?"
this don't even make complete sense, but that's
the point! I make sure I pay first (cutting ahead
of her), then as she starts to pay for her order,
I say "I'll tell you what, if you promise to keep
your shoes on the floor, I'll LET you have lunch
with me today." After that c&f comment she had
this really confused look on her face like, who
the hell is this guy to talk to me like this?
Notice DYD-ers, I didn't even act like I knew who
she was. As a matter of fact, to this day I never
play into her fame/success AT ALL!

To keep a long story from getting any longer, I
got her email that day at lunch, and now we have
been dating for three months! I cannot thank you
enough Dave, for showing me the errors of my ways,
and helping me date so many beautiful girls.

G from Manhattan
>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, models.

The object of desire for so many men.

And what do most guys do when they run into a
woman who is of "model quality"?

They get nervous, act stupid, and say things
that sound exactly like the other 47 guys that she
has talked to that day...

Beautiful women are some of the VERY BEST
people to bust on.

Think of it this way:

Her beauty (and in your case, fame) is her
weapon.

It's where her power comes from.

When you approach a woman like this and
immediately acknowledge her beauty, you also say,
"I see that you are powerful, and I'm one of those
who your power affects".

On the other hand, when you totally disregard
her "outward beauty" and instead start making fun
of her, teasing, and enjoying yourself, you
instead say, "I am the powerful one, and your
beauty magic doesn't work on me".

This has an INSTANT effect.

It separates you from 999 out of 1,000 other
men that she meets.

And if you're CHARMING and FUNNY as well, it
just says all the right things.

Great job, and congratulations on finding a
beautiful woman who you enjoy enough to date on an
ongoing basis.

...and if you're reading this Mailbag right
now, and thinking to yourself, "Man, I need to
start learning this stuff and get this part of my
life handled..."

...then YOU'RE RIGHT.

There's no better time than the present.

Here's an interesting thought...

At one of my live seminars, I met a guy who
owns my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

Get this:

He told me that he has listened to the CD
version of the program 13 times now. 13 times!

Why do you think he's listened to it so many
times?

Because he still learns NEW stuff EVERY time he
listens to it.

So what am I trying to say here?

I'm trying to say that it's JAM PACKED with
incredible information.

My Advanced Series was actually recorded at a
special 3 day seminar I did. It was then edited
down to a tight presentation (over 12 full hours),
and released on CD and DVD.

It's me teaching all of my very best stuff.

I don't hold anything back, and I have the time
to explain all of my concepts in detail... with
examples and step-by-step techniques for each of
them.

This is the best program you'll find on meeting
more women and getting more dates, and I highly
recommend that you check it out.

It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/

...and it's also important that you read my
eBook "Double Your Dating". It's the foundation
for all of the things I teach in these
newsletters, and all the things I teach in my
Advanced Dating Techniques program. You can
download it here and be reading it in just a few
minutes:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,
David D.

How to approach strange women?

>>>DATING QUESTION FROM A READER:

Hi Dave,
I'm glad you put together this newsletter because
it's so helpful and awesome! But anyways, I have a
couple questions if you could please help me.

Number 1, I have your book and follow your stuff
and I LOVE IT...to say the least. I've noticed
though, that a lot of your stuff dealing with
first encounters and pickups seems to be best fit
for the club/bar scene which is great and
everything, but I'm wondering how you go about
doing pickups in regular places, like a
supermarket, store, or coffee shop for instance?
What suggestions do you have for meeting women
here and how would you personally approach women
in these circumstances? I mean, after a
conversation has progressed, I can see how the
cocky and funny will work but I wondering about
the first encounter if you could help please.

Second, I see that one of your biggest suggestions
is seeking out other successful guys in your area
and hanging with them and learning from them. My
problem is even though I live in a huge college
campus area with PLENTY of women around and lots
of stuff to do, I can't find any other guys in my
area who I can go out with and kick some a** with.
Most of my family and friends are back home and I
haven't really made any close guy friends that I
can hit the clubs/bars with here (the ones I do
have are just nerds who want to stay home and just
drink only). I mean I can go out by myself but I
like having a wing with me-it's funner that way! I
really agree with you though about the importance
of this and I was wondering if you any suggestions
on how to find other guys who you can go out and
chase tail with? See...why can't you live closer
to me damn it!!

Thanks for everything Dave and I hope you have
more success in the future because you've helped
bring that to a lot of people.

Sincerely, F.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I want to point out that the
ideas in my programs and books are NOT designed
for meeting women in clubs and bars only. Most of
my personal success with women, and most of the
success of my readers, happen in more "normal"
places like coffee shops, bookstores, schools,
parties, and even online.

I think that maybe some people just mentally
apply what they read to situations that they're
familiar with, so it might seem that I'm talking
about "clubs and bars" when I'm really talking
about more than that.

With that said, let's talk about some of the
"how to's".

I chose your particular email because of the
way it was worded. Part of the question is:

"...I'm wondering how you go about doing pickups
in regular places, like a supermarket, store, or
coffee shop for instance? What suggestions do you
have for meeting women here and how would you
personally approach a women in these
circumstances? I mean, after a conversation has
progressed, I can see how the cocky and funny will
work but I wondering about the first encounter if
you could help please..."

It sounds to me like you're assuming here that
you should have a fairly in-depth conversation
when you first meet a woman. I think that most
guys have a fear of approaching women because they
don't really know what to say, or where to take
the conversation. I know that was a big one for me
when I first wanted to learn this stuff.

But here's what I learned: YOU DON'T HAVE TO
HAVE A "CONVERSATION" AT ALL WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A
WOMAN. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET HER DIGITS!

In my ebook, I teach you how to get a woman's
email and phone number in about 3 minutes. I know
that it kind of sounds sensational... like I'm
probably just using that as a marketing trick...
but I'm actually very serious about it.

Now, there's a lot more to success with women
than just getting numbers. But for the sake of
this argument, let's just say that ALL YOU REALLY
NEED TO BE CONCERNED WITH WHEN YOU'RE FIRST
MEETING A WOMAN IS GETTING HER EMAIL AND PHONE
NUMBER.

Yep, that's it.

And you can do that in a few minutes, if you
know what to do and how to do it. I've had MANY
friends of mine go out with me and watch me get 5+
numbers in an evening from women, and only talk to
them for a few minutes each to do it. And I'll
tell you what... it changes their perspectives
forever.

Long conversations are not a pre-requisite for
getting a phone number, email address, or future
date.

I can hear the arguments now:

"But no woman is going to just give out her
number..."

"What makes you think a woman is just going to
hand over her private information to a stranger?"

Well, I'm here to tell you that I, and many
guys I know, have done it SO many times that it's
no longer a question in my mind.

And here's why you might want to do it this
way:

Let's say you're relatively NEW at learning how
to approach women and begin conversations...

The longer you talk to a woman when you first
meet her, the more likely you are to say something
stupid, say something that disqualifies you in her
mind, or get into a conversation that goes down
the wrong road. It's as simple as that.

If you don't waste any time, and just focus on
getting her email and number, you'll be able to
set up a second meeting... where you can focus on
taking things to the next level. And trust me,
it's a lot easier to recover from a mistake or bad
conversation when you're sitting across from her
alone over a cup of tea then when you're looking
at her over the mango section in the supermarket.

Think about it.

So let's land the plane...

The question is, "What do you do to get her to
give up the info so quickly?".

Easy.

1) Know exactly how you want the conversation to
go.

2) Know HOW to ask.

3) Know WHEN to ask.

4) Have pen and paper on you.

Also, if you're PARTICULARLY interested in
learning how to approach women and start
conversations, then you should get yourself a copy
of my program... it's called "Approaching
Women"... duh! Go check out the free preview video
clips of the program and get all the details about
it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen/

I recommend that you take a few minutes every
day to imagine having conversations with new
women. It might go something like this:

"Hi there, you're cuter than the average woman
that I see in the produce section... are you
friendly?"

Her: "Ha ha... well, sometimes."

"So, are you shopping for a special occasion,
or is this just a routine produce visit?"

Her: "No, just here for some fruit."

"Nice. Are you from the area?"

Her: "Yeah."

"Are you from here originally?"

Her: "Born and raised."

"Well, it was nice meeting you... and enjoy
your mango..."

Her: "Thanks."

"Hey... do you have email?"

Her: "Yeah, I do."

Check this out... treat the "Yeah" as an
agreement to give it to you, then take a pen out
of your pocket (I prefer the Space Pen) and hand
it to her to write down her email. As she's
writing say, "and write your number there too...
and your name, which I didn't get..."

The key is that you have to act LIKE THIS IS
THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD.

...OK, see how easy that was? Is that
realistic? I think so. I've personally gotten
HUNDREDS of emails and phone numbers (from women
I've just met) with dialogues like that.

I think a key is to MENTALLY REHEARSE how you
will handle yourself so you know exactly what to
do when the time comes. It all has to flow and
seem natural.

OK, to address the second part of your
question... how to meet other guys who know what
they're doing...

I think it's a good idea to go out once in
awhile to the local hotspots and WATCH what's
going on. Specifically, I think it's a great idea
to look for beautiful women that are with guys,
and watch how the GUY is behaving. Also, it's
interesting to watch guys picking women up to see
what they're doing. You'll learn a few really
important things first-hand when you do this:

1) You'll see the body language of guys that are
able to attract and keep women.

2) You'll see the gestures and hear the voice tone
of guys that are approaching women, and see how
the women respond.

3) Invariably, you'll see some guys are really
good with women, and you can make friends with
them. It's easy... just say, "Hey, you are the mac
with the babes. Let me buy you a beer. I need you
to tell me a few things." A beer is a cheap price
to pay for wisdom.

Of course, you probably realize, as I did, that
getting a number or a date is A SMALL PIECE of the
puzzle.

If you REALLY want to master all of the
different aspects of success with women and
dating, then you need to get yourself a copy of my
Advanced Dating Techniques program.

Everything I teach in my Advanced Dating
Techniques CD/DVD program is very specifically
designed to teach you the ATTITUDE and BODY
LANGUAGE and all the other little things that
cause women to feel ATTRACTION inside... for
reasons that they don't even understand.

This program will teach you everything from how
to overcome fear and shyness to how to approach
women in different situations... all the way to
how to take things to a "physical" level smoothly
and without "rejection".

Two more important points:

1) I'll send it to you at zero risk... meaning
that you don't have to pay anything at all until
you have gotten it, tried it out, experienced
success, and convinced yourself that it's worth
many times the investment.

2) I'll send it to you in a plain box, with no
identifying marks that indicate what's inside.

Go get it here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/

And if you haven't downloaded your copy of my
online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need
to go and do that right now. You can download it
right now and be reading it within a few minutes.
It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,
David D.

How Women "Test" Men - How To Pass

Have you ever called a woman on the phone to
set up a date and she says: "Friday night? Sure.
Call me on Friday and we can talk about it..."?

Or, have you ever had a woman ask you if you're
"a player?"

Or, have you ever had a woman challenge you
about something ridiculous?

Or, have you ever had a woman call you five
minutes before a date and cancel?

Or, have you ever had a woman pout and get
upset because she didn't get her way?

Or, have you ever asked a woman for her number
and she says, "Why don't you give me your number
and I'll call YOU?"

Well guess what... you were being TESTED.

All of these are examples of common things
women do to "test" men.

On some level, the woman you were dealing with
was testing to see how much control she had in the
relationship... and how STRONG you were.

The paradox of "testing" is that if you COMPLY
with what a woman SEEMS to want, you will usually
FAIL the test.

Hey, I never said that women made sense... lol.

I was reading a great book recently called "The
Way Of The Superior Man", and inside the author
points out that a woman will often ask a man for
something DIRECTLY... but if he DOES what she
asks, she will be disappointed and ANGRY with him.

Ever been there?

So what's with this testing stuff, anyway?

Well, the answer is fascinating.

And before I tell you about why women TEST you,
I want to mention that there's a LOT more going on
"behind the scenes" when it comes to female
psychology and behavior. I believe that if you can
learn how to understand this "mating psychology,"
then you can learn to attract women MUCH faster...

If you want to get some of my very best ideas
on this topic, just follow this link, and download
my online eBook "Double Your Dating"... it's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/

Back to the answer...

Women test men because they need to QUICKLY
figure out what they're dealing with, and they
can't expect a man to just be straight up and
honest about his strengths and weaknesses.

I mean, let's face it... we guys like to talk a
big game, but when it comes to walking the talk,
we often can't BACK IT UP.

Also, beautiful women have a lot of options.
They have their pick of men. And beautiful women
prefer STRONG men. Not physically strong (although
this can be an advantage), but strong in CHARACTER
and PERSONAL IDENTITY.

Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.

So let me ask you... if you were an attractive
woman that was being chased around by 100 guys,
how would YOU go about figuring out which one or
ones were the "real deal" and which were merely
FAKING strength and confidence?

Of course... you'd have to TEST them.

But you couldn't test by saying, "OK, I'm going
to give you a test now, so get ready."

No no NO!

You'd have to use "blind" tests. Tests that
would allow you to see a man's true strengths and
weaknesses. And in fact, you'd want to use tests
that ideally DIDN'T ALLOW HIM TO KNOW THAT YOU
WERE TESTING... OR WHAT YOU HAD DISCOVERED ABOUT
HIM WITH THOSE TESTS. This way, if he turned out
to be a Wuss Bag, you could slip away quickly and
easily.

This would give you the power...

Of course.

And if you did this OFTEN, you'd eventually
become so accustomed to doing it, that MANY of the
tests would become SUBCONSCIOUS and work their way
into your NATURAL, EVERYDAY way of communicating
with men.

Well, guess what?

That's what is going on with beautiful women.

Many of the tests that they use with men are
actually OUTSIDE OF THEIR AWARENESS. They test us
automatically!

And if you fail one of these tests, there's a
good chance that you won't get another chance.

In this fast-paced world, we humans don't have
the time to spend getting to know people over a
few months or years to figure out whether or not
they're the kind of person that would make a good
friend or mate.

We need to know NOW.

So we use shortcuts.

Testing is a shortcut for women.

It lets them discover VERY RAPIDLY whether you
have BALLS, or if you're just another one of the
bazillion Wusses that are trying to get her
attention.

I hope you feel what I'm saying.

So, the next time you're standing in front of a
beautiful woman who you've just asked for her
number and she says, "Why don't you just give me
yours and I'll call YOU..." try CHUCKLING out
loud, and saying:

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that old line. Write
your number down and I'll only call you 25 times a
day until you wind up having to change it because
I have nothing better to do with my time than call
someone who doesn't want to hear from me."

Then hand her a pen, point to the paper, and
look her in the eye expectantly.

Love it.

Now, obviously there's a lot more to this issue
of TESTING. There's a lot more going on than meets
the eye.

There are all kinds of subtle cues and body
language that women read to decide just what kind
of man you are... and these cues also trigger
ATTRACTION (or the opposite).

I've spent a lot of time researching this
topic, and figuring out exactly what makes women
feel that powerful emotion called ATTRACTION, and
what repels them instantly.

If you'd like to get a POWERFUL education on
the topic of women and dating, then I recommend
that you check out my "Advanced Dating Techniques"
program.

In it, I spend several HOURS going into great
detail and teaching the exact, step-by-step
process of communicating with women in a way that
triggers their SEXUAL ATTRACTION mechanism. I also
teach you exactly what to do when you're being
tested by women... to turn her tests into even
MORE ATTRACTION for you.

You'll also learn HUNDREDS of specific
techniques for approaching women, getting emails
and numbers, kissing, "getting physical," dating,
and everything else that has to do with success
with women. You can go listen to samples and check
it out here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/

If you like this "dating psychology" stuff,
then I also recommend that you get yourself a copy
of my "Sexual Communication" program. It's a
complete course in speaking this other "language"
that I constantly refer to.

If you want to master the art of creating
"chemistry" and "sexual tension," then this is the
training you need.

Go here to watch some cool video clips of the
program...

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/

Thanks for tuning in, and I'll talk to you
again in a few days.

Your Friend,
David D.

P.S. Make sure you check out my online "catalog"
of all my different programs... where you can
watch video clips of all of them... it's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/